The Illusion of Living
by Chicachu
Summary: Joey Drew had been acting odd lately, odd for even him. Talk of "appeasing the gods" and bringing Bendy to life does lead one to question what Mr. Drew is up to, and it soon becomes enough for Jessica to fear what he has planned for the studio. Will see updates as BatIM chapters are released.


**_~Disclaimer~_**

 ** _I don't own Bendy and the Ink Machine or any of the game's characters. All credits and rights belong to theMeatly. The only things I own are the character Jessica Larson and the words written below. Enjoy!_**

 _Mr. Drew is up to something. I know he is._

These were the thoughts to cross Jessica Larson's mind in an endless loop. As of late, her boss Joey Drew had been acting strangely. He got squirrelly whenever he was paid sudden attention, spent most of his days isolated in his office, and rarely communicated with anyone outside of the story conference for each animation. He also started collecting ink. A lot of it.

Chewing her bottom lip, Jessica woke up and shook her head. She shouldn't be thinking about any of this, not while she was at work. Carefully she set down her pencil and picked up the parchment thin paper. Five whole seconds of animation were completed while she was distracted. Five whole seconds she would have to draw again.

With a suppressed groan, Jessica wondered how late she would have to stay to make up for the work, never mind the wasted paper. It wasn't that her art was bad - Bendy was perfectly proportioned, his facial expression was completely on scale, and there weren't any stray graphite lines that would confuse the girls who would later ink the artwork, but it wasn't Bendy. The ink demon wasn't alive on the pages. When she flipped the sheets to watch Bendy's movements, Jessica scowled at the less-than-satisfactory result.

Jessica may have been one of the best animators on the team, but she was still a woman. Sillyvision hired women to ink the frames, not draw them. If not for Henry, an old family friend of hers, Jessica would never have been able to get a job as a rough animator under Henry's good friend Joey Drew. Fortunately for her, Mr. Drew expressed no opinions of her based solely on her sex, but that didn't stop others on the team from thinking less of her. If Jessica wanted to get anywhere in this life, she couldn't settle with work that was simply "good enough." She either gave her best or gave up; there was no in between.

Discarding the wasted drawings, Jessica got a new sheet and started from scratch. There would be plenty of time to think about Mr. Drew's odd behavior during break, which might be shorter than normal if Jessica hoped to not have to stay too late in order to catch up on her work and still make that day's quota. With one last deep breath, Jessica cleared her mind of everything except for the little demon she created under her hand.

* * *

Try as she might, Jessica could never pinpoint what it was about working in Joey Drew Studios that attracted her so much. She had loved to draw ever since she was a child - and she was really good at it, too - but to spend all day hunched over a desk with a pencil in her hand was not Jessica's idea of a fulfilling career. It wasn't the opportunity presented to her as well. As much as she desired to one day lend her voice to a radio show, she couldn't view working at the animation studio as a means to first be heard. Not that she discredited voice acting in cartoons, but it wasn't her goal for working at Joey Drew Studos. Whatever pulled her like a magnet to this place was unknown.

"Wouldn't it be great if he could come to life?"

Startled, Jessica looked up from her desk to find Mr. Drew looking down at her. No, not down at her, but past her to the little demon under her pencil. So intent was his gaze on Bendy that Jessica wondered if he even saw her in his peripheral vision.

"I don't know, sir," Jessica said, a forced smile on her face. "That would require a lot of ink."

She had meant it as a joke, but Mr. Drew merely stared at the drawing of Bendy. Finally, as if he turned Jessica's words around in his head, he replied, "Yes, it would. Far more than I could presently afford."

Not knowing what else to say, Jessica laughed. She had thought her boss had simply joked back, but his unchanged expression made her fear that he was serious. Throat closing on her, Jessica quieted herself and returned to her work. Mr. Drew's presence weighed on her back and didn't let up till he left. He may have stood over her for a minute, but to Jessica, that minute felt like a lifetime.

* * *

"If Mr. Drew is serious, then I'm out of here."

Jessica rolled her eyes as she continued her walk towards the break room. Wally Franks, the janitor, was always threatening to quit, but they were always just that: threats. Empty words. There was always something Franks was unhappy about, but apparently it was never enough for him to actually leave.

"I don't know. This really is strange, even for Mr. Drew."

This got Jessica's attention. Band conductor Norman Polk never played around. If he was agreeing with Franks, there was a good reason for him to.

"Perhaps we shouldn't question it," added the sweet sound of voice actress Susie Campbell just as Jessica rounded the corner. "Mr. Drew is a genius; certainly he knows what he's doing."

"What is Mr. Drew doing?" Jessica asked, directing the question more towards the men than the woman with them.

"Apparently we need to offer up something in order to 'appease the gods,'" Franks answered, disgust in his voice. "I'm done with this conversation. If anyone needs me, I'll be in my office."

As Franks left, Jessica turned her attention to Polk. "'Appease the gods'?"

"I'm just as confused as you are, baby doll," Polk replied. "We're hoping Mr. Drew ain't serious."

"Mr. Drew is a creative mastermind," Susie jumped in, always defending dear old boss. "I believe that this is going to take the company in the right direction."

"You have only been here for two months," Jessica pointed out. "Of course you don't know just how crazy Mr. Drew is."

Susie flipped some of her curly platinum blonde hair over her shoulder. "You're just jealous that Mr. Drew cast me to voice Alice Angel over you."

"This has nothing to do with that," Jessica replied even though the rejection still stung. It wasn't that she desperately wanted to be Alice Angel, who music director Sammy Lawrence believed would be as popular as Bendy someday, but that Mr. Drew highly suggest that Jessica never try out for a new character again. "You don't have it in you to speak for these cartoons," he had said knowing full well how badly Jessica wanted to be a voice actress.

"Yet you haven't said one nice thing to me since Mr. Drew didn't give you the role."

"Are we really going to bring this up again?" Polk said. "Girls, that was long enough ago to move on."

"You're right," Jessica replied, too agitated with Susie to continue talking about Mr. Drew's strange actions lately. Walking to the coffee pot and pouring herself a cup, Jessica added, "I'm behind in work today. Don't get me unless it's important."

As she made her way back to her desk, Jessica bit down the burning anger. Susie was a sweet girl and good company, but for some reason this same girl wanted a rivalry to exist between her and the female animator. Jessica and Susie got along fine when Susie first joined the studio - Jessica even believed that she and the younger girl would become good friends, but after both auditioned for the role of Alice Angel, Susie seemed unable to stop rubbing in her casting.

"Alice and I have a good connection," Susie had said, "like she's a part of me somehow. Had you been cast as Alice, you probably would never have portrayed her as well as I can."

In her anger, Jessica had walked towards the concept poster of Alice Angel. Her fingers dug into the hot mug as Jessica stared at the drawing. The sight infuriated her. Almost without thinking, Jessica picked up a nearby pen, drew on the poster, and walked away without another word.

* * *

"You're picking a really bad time to leave," the puffy-eyed Jessica said as Henry packed his few belongings in a single cardboard box.

"To be fair," Henry replied as he put the last of his pencils in their case, "I believed I would be leaving with you as a new voice actress for Bendy cartoons. You can't really blame me for my poor timing, can you, Jessie?"

Jessica shook her head. "No, but I'd wish you would stay just a little longer. The new studio is so far away . . ."

Sighing, Henry set the box down, approached Jessica, and put a hand on her shoulder. "I hate to leave, but this new animation studio is a big career opportunity for me. Joey and I were able to build this studio from the ground up, but now that it's on its feet, I can't stay anymore. This job is too mundane for me; I'm wasting so much time in this chair. You understand, don't you?"

"You're too adventurous for your own good." Jessica rubbed her eyes. "Won't you visit us again soon?"

"Maybe in thirty years." Henry laughed. "I'll write to you as soon as I move to my new address, and we'll talk on the phone if you ever need it. I may be leaving, but I'm not abandoning you. Think you will be all right?" Jessica nodded. "Of course you will. You're the best animator here."

"I'm not as good as you," Jessica claimed.

"But I won't be here to hold the title within this studio much longer, will I?" Henry pat Jessica's shoulder.

"It will be such a shame to see you go."

Catching her breath, Jessica turned her attention to the doorway. Mr. Drew stood there, arms crossed as he grinned at them. Ignoring Jessica, Mr. Drew said, "Too bad you're leaving. You're about to miss all of the upcoming excitement."

"I'm going back to my desk," Jessica told Henry in a rush of a whisper. He pat her shoulder one last time before she darted away to leave him and Mr. Drew to talk. Whatever this "upcoming excitement" was, Jessica didn't want to hear about it.

Only now she wondered if the build up was beginning to pass.

* * *

By the time Jessica caught up with the animation and finished what needed to be done before she left, quitting time had long since passed. Even Franks, who normally worked late, had already called it a day. As she put her things back where they belonged, Jessica fought the dread that crawled up her spine. During the day, the animation studio was a wonderful, magical place to be. At night, when the creaky halls and breathing rooms were utterly abandoned . . .

Jessica didn't want to think about it. Taking up her purse and keys, she quickly made her way to the door. Her stomach turned at the sight of all the Bendy cutouts, watching her as she went past. Sometimes she feared that they followed her and peaked over the corners to see her go. _"Come back,"_ they would say in their impish voices. _"We don't want to hurt you. We only want to have fun."_

Whatever their definition of "fun" was, Jessica was sure it didn't match hers.

"Ms. Larson!" a voice shouted after her, nearly giving Jessica a heart attack. When she turned, Mr. Drew stood staring at her. Without giving the woman a chance to reply, he ordered "Follow me" before spinning on his heel and stalking away.

As she stayed not too far behind Mr. Drew, Jessica swallowed the rising bile. They walked into Mr. Drew's office, he had Jessica sit at his desk, and he sat on the other side. Jessica felt her heart stop. On top of Mr. Drew's desk was the poster she had defaced.

"Would you care to explain why my angel has demon horns?" Mr. Drew asked, his fingers grazing the place on the poster where horns were added to Alice Angel.

Finding no reason to lie, Jessica swallowed her pride and answered the truth. "I apologize, sir. I was frustrated, and I'm still upset over the casting choice for Alice. Susie got on my nerves, as she's been doing a lot lately, and I took it out on the poster. There's no excuse for what I did. I knew better yet I still acted childishly. I'm sorry."

"I didn't ask to hear about your emotions." Mr. Drew waved his hand as if swatting a fly that had buzzed past. "Ms. Larson, I couldn't care less about why you did it. What I want to know is why demon horns. Defeats the purpose of Alice being an angel, doesn't it?"

Not wanting to voice that the horns were in actuality what Jessica thought of Susie and Alice's "connection," Jessica thought fast and said, "Demons are fallen angels, right? Alice could be in the middle of her transition from angel to demon, hence the horns and halo combination."

It was a silly lie, but the way Mr. Drew stared at the poster in silence, he must have believed her if he would appear so focused on contemplating the words. "Mmm hmmm," Mr. Drew hummed, his fingers tapping against the desk. "Not a bad reason, Ms. Larson."

"Again," Jessica began, "I'm really sorry-"

"Enough of that," Mr. Drew ordered. "I have decided that Alice does need the redesign. Her being an angel is nowhere near as interesting as her being a hybrid, whatever the reason behind those origins. She shall be stripped of her wings and given the horns for her final design." Mr. Drew looked Jessica in the eyes. "I want you to be Alice's head animator."

Heart skipping a beat, Jessica shook her head as she tried to understand if she had heard her boss correctly. "Mr. Drew, you can't be serious. Me, a head animator? I was lucky as it is to even be given the chance to work as an animator in this studio."

"That's because, in case you have forgotten, Ms. Larson, I saw potential in you," Mr. Drew said, his voice even as if he was speaking to a child. At best, a whiney teenager. "Family friend of Henry's or not, I hired you because of what I saw in you. Had I not deemed you promising, no amount of recommendation from Henry would have persuaded me to give you a chance. However, I could see that there was more to you. The talent you possess with a pencil is amazing - you draw Bendy, Boris, and other characters with precision, but paired with animation and anyone could see you have an extraordinary gift. You have proven yourself many times over, both to me and your fellow animators. Why do you not think you can work as head animator for my newest character? Does it not please you to take charge of Alice's public debut?"

Squirming in her seat, Jessica replied. "There are so many reasons the position doesn't interest me, Mr. Drew. My biggest reason being that I don't want to be in charge of making Susie Campell's character look good. I don't think I could stand it."

"You can and you will," Mr. Drew said, a growl in his voice. "I have so much more planned for you than you'll ever know, and you're throwing it all away because it contradicts some silly dream of yours. Don't you think I'm going to let such talent like yours go to waste. I need you, Jessica, and not to voice some ridiculous cartoons."

Jessica bit back a gasp. Mr. Drew had never called her by her first name before. If he was starting now, he must have been serious about these "plans" he had for her.

"You don't have a voice that demands to be heard," he continued when Jessica failed to reply, "but you have the talent I need to bring life onto the page. I need you to help me bring Bendy to life. I need you more than I'm willing to admit."

"But why me?" Jessica, now finding her voice, asked. "I'm not the best animator in the studio, we can both agree, so why am I so important to this . . . plan of yours?"

"Everyone is important, even Wally Franks," Mr. Drew answered. "They are all important to me, and I would hate to have to change everything I have laid out last minute because the same woman I decided to give a chance decided that she was too good for the places I wanted to take her."

Biting her lower lip, Jessica tried to figure out what was going on in Joey Drew's head. He had a bolt or two loose, no doubt, but he was still clever enough to get to her emotions. He was making her feel guilty, and if he kept going at this pace, she would do anything he told her to if it would banish the sinking feeling in her chest.

"Wha . . . What are your plans?" Jessica asked. She didn't know how much she feared the answer until after the words were out of her mouth.

Mr. Drew leaned back in his chair. "I want to bring Bendy to life more than what we in this studio have previously done. I have every little detail figured out, and as long as everything goes accordingly, I will be able to bring Bendy to life."

"But what could you mean by that?" Jessica's brows furrowed. "Do you want to make an animated motion picture? Update the animations to color?"

Mr. Drew waved Jessica's questions out of the air. "All in due time, my little sheep."

Freezing, Jessica sought the words to speak. Polk had referred to Jessica as "baby doll" nearly every time he spoke with her, but that was just his personality. Even Susie was called by that name from time to time, but it was not like Mr. Drew to call Jessica anything other than "Ms. Larson." It was one thing that he called her by her first name, but now this? With paralysis making its way up her spine and spreading throughout her body, Jessica realized with dread that she was beginning to fear her boss.

"Why do you look at me like that?" Mr. Drew asked, his head titled ever so slightly to the side. "You stare at me as if I'm a terror. There is nothing to be scared of, Ms. Larson."

"Is there really nothing to be scared of?"

"I suppose that depends on what you find worth fearing." Mr. Drew leant forward. "Tell me, Ms. Larson, do you believe that life can be created out of nothing?"

"No, sir," Jessica answered. "Even if you were to try, wouldn't another life have to be sacrificed in the new life's place?"

A smile so wide grew on Mr. Drew's face. The mere presence of the smile alone scared Jessica even more. "So you do understand."

"Mr. Drew, I'm afraid I-"

"You may think you don't understand, but deep down, you do. I need you just as much as I need everyone else here, Ms. Larson, and I need you to be where I have placed you. Just say that you will become head animator of Alice Angel. That's all I ask, for now."

So strong was Mr. Drew's gaze that Jessica forgot how to think. The man across stared at her so intently, as if he could see through every wall she had put up. There was something Mr. Drew wanted desperately from Jessica, and whatever it was had nothing to do with desire or affection. Her very life was in danger, yet she was too deep in to find it within herself to escape while she still had the chance.

"I will become head animator of Alice Angel," Jessica quietly said, her voice shaking and wavering.

"What was that?" Now Mr. Drew was teasing her. He leant in and aimed his ear towards her. "Would you please say that again?"

"I will become head animator of Alice Angel," Jessica repeated.

"Splendid." Mr. Drew pulled back. "I have big plans, Ms. Larson, and I'm glad to see that you are willing to cooperate. I promise you won't regret this."

"I hope you are right." Standing, Jessica bid Mr. Drew a goodnight and felt immediate gratitude when he didn't call after her to come back.

As she reached the exit, Jessica stopped and stared at the Bendy cutout by the door. He smiled at her, as if there was some hilarious trick he knew of that she couldn't even begin to imagine. _You will be first,_ he seemed to say with his impish ink eyes. _You will ignore every instinct telling you to run, and you will be first. Follow your friend, if you know what's good for you, or stay behind to solve the mystery that will be your end. Your choice._

Jessica shook her head. There was no way Bendy, a cardboard cutout, could tell her anything. It was a piece of trash; there was no mind in there nor any awareness of what was going on around it. Bendy was just a cartoon character: never would Bendy be a threat to anyone, including Jessica. Mr. Drew was crazy, and just the past fifteen minutes confirmed that, but he was an excellent boss. Every reason she should run was all in Jessica's head. It would be foolish to escape from imaginary danger.

Walking out of the studio, Jessica wondered if she would be able to get enough sleep before she went back for work the next day. Probably not. Even if she could get home right away, she still wouldn't be able to sleep. Mr. Drew just confirmed that he was indeed up to something, but what?

 _I guess I'll have plenty of time to figure that out tomorrow,_ Jessica thought, _assuming I don't daydream while I work again._


End file.
